Tuesday, April 17, 2007

dunno y i write this

its been almost 3 mnths since i blogged. thats wat the archives in my blog say, last post 19th jan, 2007. actually its been almost that long since i wrote something.
somewhere along the way, i think i lost the "rich" in me and became simply an internee... a loyal, obedient, faithful arvind servant. im not complaining, mayb just cribbing a lil bit. the stuff i ve learnt staying in bglore and at arvind, has made me stronger, and wiser in several aspects, though at the same time leaving me more vulnerable than i ever was, to break promises.
i ve lived, i ve partied, sloshed and smoked. discovered late nights and sleep overs. had 10 mnths of an exotic combination - new city, and newly found freedom.discovered corporate in a way no book ever taught me, no professor ever told me. felt used, abused, confused and manipulated. i ve learnt. felt loved, special, listened to, all in moments of telephonic intimacy. i ve been shown the mirror, discovered my beauty and charm, and the persistent nature that contradicts it all. i ve lived in a hostel, where nothing is personal, not your body, clothes or soul. shared a room with 3 others, cried and then dried tears all in the same night. music, wandering grapes and chips, biscuits and mithai. seen it travel around rooms in different measures.
walked in back lanes with hidden cigarette stubs, sneaking breezer and vodka up a single flight of stairs. regular meanderings to pani puri and juices.. ah! fruit bowl too. sat morning visits to shanti sagars and lil steel glasses of coffee, all in an attempt to escape the sidey breakfast!
arguments and discussions with the land lady for peace restored...
eve-teasing in heavy doses, physical, emotional.. left a mark.
sunday morning dosas.. and closed eye gulping of nightly food(or in an attempt at betterment, sum added pickles!)
gossips in office, loves and life. food habits, food piggin ;) muzic, sarcasm work and defeats. all in good measure(or mayb slightly off balanced!) factory visits in that "delightful" van.

finding people similar and yet so different. growing close, growing apart.
what all can i re create, in words as i re call.
words just spilt. non stop.
10 mnths of bglore, come to an end. in a slightly bitter sweet way. leaving me with memories so many, so varied so...unspoken. wat words describe experiences, can anyone specify?

new life, new city, its time to move on... my contribution to this city ends as all it cud give me too subsides. a period of lethargy now, to work on myself and set my heart, my mind, my entire outlook in working order. work on myself, to re discover, to explore me... in music, books, food and loved ones. to work on all the raw wounds bglore has left me with, to strengthen some part of me, to breakdown and wipe away some other.

mayb its all a play, to get u thru a certain phase in life...never agn will i meet them, never agn will thy knw me. but thru these 10 mnths thy were all a unforgettable part, contributing to every lil experience that shaped me till today.

i dont knw why i posted this on untruelife, wen i cud and shud hav put this up in solitary reaper. i dunno. but i did. no, n im not crying, im smiling coz it happened. 10mnths of my life that were mine, in every which way. and as i leav i must add, bangalore is alright, its not such a bad city after all...
:)

1 comment:

Vibhanshu said...

Yeah Bangalore is a lovely city, its meant for short stints. I wouldnt ever imagine settling down here.

Farewell :D