The
Crap
Come
To
Point
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
ROSE!!!
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged
us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look
around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a
wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her
entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can
I give you a hug?" I laughed! and enthusiastically responded, "Of course
you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She
jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich
husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...". "No seriously," I
asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this
challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education
and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a
chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next
three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was
always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her
wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily
made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in
the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living
it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football
banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and
stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech,
she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a
little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm
sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is
killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do
not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving
success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have
a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know
it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If
you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do
one productive thing, you will turn twenty y ears old. If I am
eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything
I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any
talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity
in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for
things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with
regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She
challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily
lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all
those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her
sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in
tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too
late to be all you can possibly be.
When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice
to your friends and family they'll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get; we make a Life by what we give.
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. "Good friends are like
stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always
there."
us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look
around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a
wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her
entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can
I give you a hug?" I laughed! and enthusiastically responded, "Of course
you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She
jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich
husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...". "No seriously," I
asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this
challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education
and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a
chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next
three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was
always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her
wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily
made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in
the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living
it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football
banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and
stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech,
she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a
little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm
sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is
killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do
not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving
success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have
a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know
it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If
you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do
one productive thing, you will turn twenty y ears old. If I am
eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything
I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any
talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity
in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for
things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with
regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She
challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily
lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all
those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her
sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in
tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too
late to be all you can possibly be.
When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice
to your friends and family they'll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get; we make a Life by what we give.
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. "Good friends are like
stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always
there."
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
How to control traffic in city ( Blogathon)
Rules!
Rules is what is it all about.
We as humans... and specially Indians have a Challenge with Authority.
Who sets the rules?
And .. Which are the rules which are Rigid and firm.That is questionable!
I Have driven on many roads, right from my city beautiful(Chandigarh) to Delhi, Dehradun, Meerut, Jaipur, Bangalore, Chennai, Mumbai, Pune, Nashik, Goa, Ahmadabad etc...
They all have a different flow.
What remains common is the Traffic rule breakers attitude and state of mind at breaking the LAW!
Right From Basic Impatience to 'who cares attitude' and Not to Unmention Ill-Planned infra.
My Suggestion is very Basic, and sooner or later I plan to execute the same!!
The people who notice traffic RULES being broken are already Empowered with Camera Phones.
I/ we Start a photo Blog where the Law-breakers pics are posted everyday/ every hour.
these can be submitted to a me or logistics cane be worked out!
And We can have NOKIA or the likes to sponsor few Big Billboards Across the mojor cities which can keep showing the Pics of the SMART Ones.. caught in teh ACT
Rules is what is it all about.
We as humans... and specially Indians have a Challenge with Authority.
Who sets the rules?
And .. Which are the rules which are Rigid and firm.That is questionable!
I Have driven on many roads, right from my city beautiful(Chandigarh) to Delhi, Dehradun, Meerut, Jaipur, Bangalore, Chennai, Mumbai, Pune, Nashik, Goa, Ahmadabad etc...
They all have a different flow.
What remains common is the Traffic rule breakers attitude and state of mind at breaking the LAW!
Right From Basic Impatience to 'who cares attitude' and Not to Unmention Ill-Planned infra.
My Suggestion is very Basic, and sooner or later I plan to execute the same!!
The people who notice traffic RULES being broken are already Empowered with Camera Phones.
I/ we Start a photo Blog where the Law-breakers pics are posted everyday/ every hour.
these can be submitted to a me or logistics cane be worked out!
And We can have NOKIA or the likes to sponsor few Big Billboards Across the mojor cities which can keep showing the Pics of the SMART Ones.. caught in teh ACT
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
One day I decided to quit. I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me.
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied. "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again,nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo." He said, "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?" "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." "Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked me in return. "As high as it can?" I questioned "Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you!
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me.
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied. "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again,nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo." He said, "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?" "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." "Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked me in return. "As high as it can?" I questioned "Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you!
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Interview-NIRMA
27th feb
12.45 batch
i wake up late in the morning...and i had to write my sop too....turns out im late by 5 mins to the venue...and hence was asked to wait n join the next batch.....phew!!waiting room.... ppl came back after gd...chit chat...gk topics...infact i must tell u ...the amt of knowledge i gained in those 5 hrs...( i was there till 6)....is more than wat i ve gained in my whole life. people were awesome...every1 was friendly...cool chilled out environment in the waitng room...and vice versa in the panel rooms...anyway finally in the 3 pm slot ( whch started at 3.45 ),got a disgusting look by the panel....i bore it all...( ye mba ke liye kya kya karna padta hai)
but i still wonder ke 12.50 pe aaya to i was made to wait...aur next batch 3 ki jagah 3.45 pe shuru hua....crzy thing....and poor me....
gd topic : excessive use of elctronic gadgets is leading to hampering of analytical skills of students.
went pretty fine...no fish mrket ( as predicted by y fellows..)....i chipped in wid a few points...got noticed....and had strong points...wich usually happens....gd was mine....
went back to the waiting room...
fir ti same frenzy ppl came wid their expreinces...and vo usual " faad rahe hain yaar ". i was in the 3rd panel and dat was supposedly the most " faadu " 1...
anyway last person of the day to b intvwd....( c dis is wat i call luck )....hall empty...no1 but me n panelists....panel includes...
a young prof : yp
a ungalbaaz oldie : uo
a pawn prof : pp
and me
10th 87.6
12th 78.6
ba pass corres...56 n 52 %
resp....wipro bpo 1 yr experience....so dat basically lets every1 knw dat i was nt on d rght track....9 tho i knw dat i m...) anyway this is how it went...entered the room...
uo : y did u come late being a resident of delhi.
me : rickshaw driver was rookie and both of us didnt knw the exact place
uo: y corres...
me : gyan.............
uo : fav subject..??
me : all
uo : any 1 dat u like d most
me : maths
uo: gestured the yp to ask questions
yp : curriculum
me : told
yp.: eulers theorem ??
me : if i say dat i dont knw...then i ll b lying...but i cant say anything more than " i cant remember rght now"smiles all over
yp : ok, tell me abt ur job profile
me : gyan
yp; wat was ur role, hw did it help u..??
me : gyan.....
pp: where do u c bpos widin the next 2 yrs...??
me : gyan...
pp: but companies r here for cheap labor...
me : other developing nations provide cheaper labor...if the companies had to ...they d ve moved there...seemed convinced...
pp : isnt it difficult for sm1 hu is wrking in bpo getting handsome slary to leave ad go for studies...
me : no...
pp: gnerally....
me : yes
pp : so y wud sm1 like u come here leaving a lucrative job...( god dont belive him...i ws earning hardly 2.5l p.a. and he ws caling dat lucrative )isnt it tuf....y do v selecet such people...
me : 405 of ppl u r select r experinced...and is going pretty well wid the institute's brand name etc...so i guess...u have ur reasons to do so ...
pp: dumbstruck.....awrite, do u agree dat bpo is going to end within the nest 5 yrs...??
me : gyan...
pp: no take a stand...do u agree or disagree
me : its opinion and nt agreement or disagreement...i have mine u have urs...v cant fite over dis topic can v...
pp : ( convinced) ok, wats the turn over for wipro..??
me : dont know...
pp : hus d ceo of wipro bpo...
me : toldpp...full name
me : told...bu ti m nt sure
pp: wat is the price of wipro share
me : told...but i m nt sure
uo ; (comes back)...wat r u sure abt...??..u r unsure abt half the things u say...
me : (fat gayi)...smhow remained composed...and said...i knw wat i want frm my life...
uo : wat do u want?
me : success and peace...
uo : pappu yadav is successful
me : dat is ur opinion....
uo : good...dats it...
me : is it all...??
uo : yes
12.45 batch
i wake up late in the morning...and i had to write my sop too....turns out im late by 5 mins to the venue...and hence was asked to wait n join the next batch.....phew!!waiting room.... ppl came back after gd...chit chat...gk topics...infact i must tell u ...the amt of knowledge i gained in those 5 hrs...( i was there till 6)....is more than wat i ve gained in my whole life. people were awesome...every1 was friendly...cool chilled out environment in the waitng room...and vice versa in the panel rooms...anyway finally in the 3 pm slot ( whch started at 3.45 ),got a disgusting look by the panel....i bore it all...( ye mba ke liye kya kya karna padta hai)
but i still wonder ke 12.50 pe aaya to i was made to wait...aur next batch 3 ki jagah 3.45 pe shuru hua....crzy thing....and poor me....
gd topic : excessive use of elctronic gadgets is leading to hampering of analytical skills of students.
went pretty fine...no fish mrket ( as predicted by y fellows..)....i chipped in wid a few points...got noticed....and had strong points...wich usually happens....gd was mine....
went back to the waiting room...
fir ti same frenzy ppl came wid their expreinces...and vo usual " faad rahe hain yaar ". i was in the 3rd panel and dat was supposedly the most " faadu " 1...
anyway last person of the day to b intvwd....( c dis is wat i call luck )....hall empty...no1 but me n panelists....panel includes...
a young prof : yp
a ungalbaaz oldie : uo
a pawn prof : pp
and me
10th 87.6
12th 78.6
ba pass corres...56 n 52 %
resp....wipro bpo 1 yr experience....so dat basically lets every1 knw dat i was nt on d rght track....9 tho i knw dat i m...) anyway this is how it went...entered the room...
uo : y did u come late being a resident of delhi.
me : rickshaw driver was rookie and both of us didnt knw the exact place
uo: y corres...
me : gyan.............
uo : fav subject..??
me : all
uo : any 1 dat u like d most
me : maths
uo: gestured the yp to ask questions
yp : curriculum
me : told
yp.: eulers theorem ??
me : if i say dat i dont knw...then i ll b lying...but i cant say anything more than " i cant remember rght now"smiles all over
yp : ok, tell me abt ur job profile
me : gyan
yp; wat was ur role, hw did it help u..??
me : gyan.....
pp: where do u c bpos widin the next 2 yrs...??
me : gyan...
pp: but companies r here for cheap labor...
me : other developing nations provide cheaper labor...if the companies had to ...they d ve moved there...seemed convinced...
pp : isnt it difficult for sm1 hu is wrking in bpo getting handsome slary to leave ad go for studies...
me : no...
pp: gnerally....
me : yes
pp : so y wud sm1 like u come here leaving a lucrative job...( god dont belive him...i ws earning hardly 2.5l p.a. and he ws caling dat lucrative )isnt it tuf....y do v selecet such people...
me : 405 of ppl u r select r experinced...and is going pretty well wid the institute's brand name etc...so i guess...u have ur reasons to do so ...
pp: dumbstruck.....awrite, do u agree dat bpo is going to end within the nest 5 yrs...??
me : gyan...
pp: no take a stand...do u agree or disagree
me : its opinion and nt agreement or disagreement...i have mine u have urs...v cant fite over dis topic can v...
pp : ( convinced) ok, wats the turn over for wipro..??
me : dont know...
pp : hus d ceo of wipro bpo...
me : toldpp...full name
me : told...bu ti m nt sure
pp: wat is the price of wipro share
me : told...but i m nt sure
uo ; (comes back)...wat r u sure abt...??..u r unsure abt half the things u say...
me : (fat gayi)...smhow remained composed...and said...i knw wat i want frm my life...
uo : wat do u want?
me : success and peace...
uo : pappu yadav is successful
me : dat is ur opinion....
uo : good...dats it...
me : is it all...??
uo : yes
Interviews Fore
Venue : FORE
Batch : 1.30
entered exactly at 1.30....and then the usual...welcomin and verification...gd started at arnd 2.10...went for abt 20 mins....case study...introduction of walmart etc is going to b curse for an ordinary grocer...etc etc....most of the ppl chipped in wid pts...healthy gd....satisfied wid my performance....
serial num 8.....i heard dat they were nt grilling ppl on academics....once again...i m a ba pass ( corres..) student....56 and 52 % resp in both the years...i expect a different kind of grilling all d time...but i m game...
btw b4 going to the interview part....v were waiting outside...and man 1 thing whch is excellent abt FORE is the chic quantity....gosh...name it a CHIC FACTORY...guyz were hard to find....if they call me....trust me guyz...i m goin there...anyway....lets talk business now....
3 ppl in panel...a prof (p), a numb lady (nl), chief (c).. n me (m)luckily wen i went in the chief got a call ...he left the room...sigh of relief....
m: can i sit..??
nl : yes,...( pause)...tell me smthin abt urself....
m: 10 th ..12 th bla h blah
nl : ( interrupted )...i dont want numbers...tell me smthin u havnt mentioned...
m : i love to sing...i play guitar and i m an absolute gamer
p : so u sing
m : yes sir...
nl : sing smthinm : sang
nl and p : kudos..u sing pretty well
m : humble
nl : tell me name of 5 rivers of india
m : told
nl : 5 mountain peaks
m: k2, nanga parbat, kanchenjunga...ehhhh...dats it...
nl : hmmm...ok tell me wat is ur opinon of urself....
m : ( i m the best...no1 can beat me..u want me in the ring...?? )..ehh every1 holds a gud opinion abt himself or herself...
nl : wat wud ur parents tell me abt u..?
m : gyan
nl : ur academics isnt gud..
m : ...87.6 in 10th and 79 in 12 th isnt gud....??...ohhk i ll say it was fair...fair enuf...??
nl: hmmm
p: grad score is low...
m : smiling....well wen i c d result on internet...200 ppl above me in d list and 200 ppl below me....just fail...considering dat...55 and 51 is ahem ahem....
p : hmmmm( now they started to fire questions )
nl : railway minister?
m : laloo
nl : speaker...?
m : some chatterjee....remember his face but cant recall his name
nl : tell me smthin abt today's budget
m: i left home at 11.30...dont knw anything...
p : railways budget...?
m : yep...blah blah...common mans budget...green toilet..
p : ( interrupted )..wat is a green toilet...
m : green toilet
p : ( interrupted again...pitega ye mujhse..) do they add carbonates to the toilet...laughing...
m : smiling...good 1 sir..but no....
p : u mean neat n clean...
m : precisely
p : undergrad subj..?
m : told
p : read fore brochure
m : no
p : know subjects for mba?
m : read 1 day..but forgot
p : u knw d subj u ve studied so far and d subj u r goin to study in mba r goin to b diff...wud u b able to manage...??
m : u selct 80% engg and wat they study for 4 yrs...is absltly dif frm mba curriculum...do u ask them the same question...??
p : dumbstruck...but wudnt it b difficult..?
m : i m determined enuf to do it
p : its tuf
m : nothing is easy
p : hmmm..wat did the ppl hu came after the intvw tell u abt the panel and stuff...
m : ( abe yaar..ab tareef karun ya sach bata dun.?? )...they said dat u r nt grilling ppl on academics...chilled out...giving enuf time
p : nothing negative...
m : depends on ur attitude...i dnt c negative in anything..( zyada ho gaya)..
p : hmmmnow
c : comes in....whch is d best b skul in d wrld acc to u?
m : ( ab agar harvard stanford bola...to poochenge kyun...fir uspe 10 sawaal...)...well....considering wat i want to join or general..
c : general...
m : ehh...its pretty tuf
nl : y dont u come on d point...y do u have to beat arnd d bush all d time
m : ok...i ll come to the point...i think i m no1 to rate b schools...
p : but u must ve read surveys...based on diff assumptions
m : hw do i trust smthin based on assumptions...
c : whch is d best b school in india...
m : isb
nl : aha...now u can rate them
m : ( bhai saab kya mara hai...muh ke bal gira...but came back swiftly..)...mam it is in india...haerd abt it frm reliable sources and not surveys..whch assume things
c : 2nd best acc to u
m : close call bw iim-a and iim-b
c: ok dats it...
m : shall i go...
c :yes...
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Mumbai
You know you are from Mumbai (Bombay) when
1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that*this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar � Road, Altamount Road.
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
15. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
23. You always argue with Delhites than Mumbai is way better than Delhi
24. You still refer to the city as Bombay not Mumbai. (credit Opher Moses 24,25,26)
25. When you love bragging about the filmstars and cricketers you've seen
26. When most of your freinds have underworld connections
27. Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?"(Credit Nandan Babla 27-32)
28. "Change" is "Chillar", "Ditching" is a "Kalti" and "Trouble" is "Jhol".
29. "Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.
30. You have been shoo'd away from Marine Drive at 3am by the cops because of an "Unlawful gathering of persons"
31. You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.
32. You actually think 30Rs for a Sada Dosa is pretty reasonable.
33. when you spent 6 hours of your day in school and another 3 hours in tuitions. ( Dipen sheth 33-36)
34. if you ever went to fashion street, got a pair of cheap jeans and had them tagged as a name brand.
35. if you played cricket matches against another building for 5 rupee bets.
36. if you lost tons of MRF rubber balls.
37. when u call cops ;kaka' and they let u go if u show of ur marathi speaking skills ( priyanka shenoy)
38. amitabh bachans house is a landmark
39. You have been to matheran or mahabaleshwar during the summer vacations
40. You see men (not gay apparently) holding hands and walking in the street. ( Prashant Parikh 40-49)
41. The note to coin changing machine at Churchgate station is idolized.
42. During cricket season all the roads are blocked because people in the streets are looking at television screens in display windows.
43. Automatic vending machines have a sales person sitting next to it just to help you.
44. There are more movie tickets being sold in black than at the ticket office.
45. It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.
46. Every cab and rickshaw driver makes small talk with you
47. You see Herd of people walking at four in the morning to Siddhi Vinayak temple.
48. ‘Bun Maska’ and ‘vada pav’ is the staple diet of most collegians.
49. HORN OK PLEASE is written on every truck, tempo and heavy motor vehicle.
50. You cant drive for more than 10 mins without abusing someone ( Rohini Tekchandaney)
51. "townies" think they need a visa to go past worli to the suburbs
52. When u use the word "yaar" in almost every sentence u speak. (valencia dmello)
53. You call onion as "kandha" and potato as "batata" (Kavya)
54. You think of a spicy tangy snack whenever you hear the work chat (Gila Ward)
55.You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Bombay(Romit)
56. you call the cabbies n waiters BOSS (Aneesh Angadi)
57. abuses like chu**** . madar****. Bhen***... are the words whic u have to use in each sentence yyou speak
58. you prefer wada pav by jumbo king anyday on comparision wid Mc donalds burger
59. Each monday you go for either bowling or pool.
60. u enter mocha/ barista/ ccd lookin all posh but sit with one drink for 5 hrs till they politely ask u if u "need anythin else"(Sonali Kokra 60-62)
61. yr pricipal form of entertainment are all the aunties who scream obsceities at each other at the drop of a hat and threaten to pull the others hair/ push out of the train at 11 in the nyt!
62. yr idea of a full body massage is wat u get while trying to get off/ board a train at dadar!!!
63. At 3am in morning you can still get wadapav or butter pav bhaji(Aditya bengali)
64. When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans!
65. when the traffic almost makes good frnds wid the person in the car next to you.(Aneesh angadi)
66. You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains... (aditya bengali)
67. You snigger every time somebody says "Im going to Grant road!"
68. u call the policemen "MAMU" OR "PANDU" (ronak panani)
69. random strangers butt in wen u r discussing cricket o politics or even chicks 2 give their personal (unwanted) opinion (Harsh)
70. You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing(70-75 Dhavan Vora )
71. There is always one 'pan-wala' on the corner of street
72. You keep spare candles in the kitchen just in case there's a power surge.
73. To you, your watchman doesn't have a name - you just call him 'watchman'.
74. You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.
75. You know of certain theaters where you can go for A-rated movies with your friends, even when you're under 18.
76. whn u r standing at a bus stop near juhu beach and sum random guy comes up to u and says " boss" short term, long term chahiye kya (saatvik)
77. When every rickshaw looks like a personal disco, with neon lights, loud music and pictures of film stars.(amrryn)
78. seeing "Mein Kampf" being sold openly on the streets in abundance seems like a perfectly normal thing to you.(Patrick Weyers)
79. you have to pay international roaming fees when you use your cell phone outside of Mumbai.
80. you can only smile forgivingly about the size of any other city in the world.
81. you consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.
82. when someone asks u "east" or "west" side of a particular station?
83. when there is a saffron rally every 3 months , n u just wonder , whats it all about , u jus went to vote , 3 months ago , n they r holding elections all again?
84. when "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word
85. when u see hijraas/eunuchs at street asking for u to lend them some money , with a very very catchy one liner : eeeee deeeeeeeee naaaaaa usually on fridays.sometimes men even get grooped when they dont pay 'em
86. when u can find hukkas for use at a coffee shop the equivalent of starbucks (Vishal prabhu)
87. when u never cross the road at a zebra crossing
88. when u can always find a car that has a dent or scratch on it
89. When u find cars on the Road even at 4 in the morning(Trish bose)
90. You never learnt how to stand in a queue
91. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
92. Every time you speak Hndi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face.
93. You have hung on to dear life at the local door.
94. You still refer to a car / vehicle full of girls as "Maal Gaadi" - left over from the "Ladies Special" days...
95. You take the "Weight and Your Future for Rs.1 only" machines at the stations seriously. ... At least the Future bit, it always exaggerates about the weight.
96. When while giving directions you say "Right/ Left MARO aur wahan pe ek bridge GIREGA"
97. when you actually see random people coming to help you when u have a problem
98. .when u can take a piss at the local shouchalaya for 50paise and a dump for 1 re
99. When you think everyone who lives to the south of you is a snob and to the north of you sucks
100. you behave like a foreigner in any other part of the country (hurray !!! 100)
101. u see couples cosying up in rickshaws in almost every small lane
102. u want to get into the train already that is already in motion & u have 5 hands taking u in..
103. When you instinctively say "pudhey challa" instead of saying agey badho or move ahead.
104. You meet Delhiites in a foreign country and feel no sense of kinship with them!
105. Chal, paka mat!" is an overused part of your vocabulary
106. here "maall" is a gurl n na goods
107. Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily.
108. You log on to social networking sites and search for Bombay-related groups!!!(manas)
109. u treat mumbai as a country itself (Danny)
110. You drink 2 sips of tea called 'cutting' more than thrice a day (Bhakti)
111. You call a corner 'khopcha' and a cigarette 'sutta'
112. u think tht delhi copied INDIA GATE frm mumbai's GATEWAY OF INDIA...(Akshay)
113. masseuses on juhu beach come out only after midnight n cops get free massages frm them
114. when you see the dabbawallas on the station and fishwali kolis in train (amrita)
115. when u c movie names like "shootout at Lokhandwala" & 'Ek chalis ki last local" & don't have to ask wot the name means(gauri)
116. when you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay (prajay)
117. when we compare our mumbai-pune expressway to the autobahn and our cab drivers to the indian schumacher.
118. you know 'bhai' means a guy who has no brotherly feelings. (partho)
119. you know that 'khamba' does not only mean pillar
120. when you call a watermelon "Kalingar" instead of "Terbus"
121. Making a loud kissing noise is how you tease girls in Delhi, but making that same noise is how you hail an autorickshaw in Bombay (Shivani T)
122. The rest of India calls it namkeen----you know it as farsan (Shivani T)
123. You don't differentiate between U.P. and Bihar. All you know is that's where the 'bhaiyas' come from (Shivani T)
124. if someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...(gunjan)
125. You get felt up every time you get into the general compartment instead of the ladies'.
126. You get photographed at three parties and you're suddenly a page 3 regular!
127. When your lunch is delivered hot in a tiffin at exactly 1pm from home every working day.
128. when u have an account with tha paan wala for cigarettes on credit your outside home & work
129. when u r stuck in traffic even at 1:30 a.m
130. You see two office-goers play a game of cards in your evening local train.
1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that*this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar � Road, Altamount Road.
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
15. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
23. You always argue with Delhites than Mumbai is way better than Delhi
24. You still refer to the city as Bombay not Mumbai. (credit Opher Moses 24,25,26)
25. When you love bragging about the filmstars and cricketers you've seen
26. When most of your freinds have underworld connections
27. Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?"(Credit Nandan Babla 27-32)
28. "Change" is "Chillar", "Ditching" is a "Kalti" and "Trouble" is "Jhol".
29. "Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.
30. You have been shoo'd away from Marine Drive at 3am by the cops because of an "Unlawful gathering of persons"
31. You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.
32. You actually think 30Rs for a Sada Dosa is pretty reasonable.
33. when you spent 6 hours of your day in school and another 3 hours in tuitions. ( Dipen sheth 33-36)
34. if you ever went to fashion street, got a pair of cheap jeans and had them tagged as a name brand.
35. if you played cricket matches against another building for 5 rupee bets.
36. if you lost tons of MRF rubber balls.
37. when u call cops ;kaka' and they let u go if u show of ur marathi speaking skills ( priyanka shenoy)
38. amitabh bachans house is a landmark
39. You have been to matheran or mahabaleshwar during the summer vacations
40. You see men (not gay apparently) holding hands and walking in the street. ( Prashant Parikh 40-49)
41. The note to coin changing machine at Churchgate station is idolized.
42. During cricket season all the roads are blocked because people in the streets are looking at television screens in display windows.
43. Automatic vending machines have a sales person sitting next to it just to help you.
44. There are more movie tickets being sold in black than at the ticket office.
45. It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.
46. Every cab and rickshaw driver makes small talk with you
47. You see Herd of people walking at four in the morning to Siddhi Vinayak temple.
48. ‘Bun Maska’ and ‘vada pav’ is the staple diet of most collegians.
49. HORN OK PLEASE is written on every truck, tempo and heavy motor vehicle.
50. You cant drive for more than 10 mins without abusing someone ( Rohini Tekchandaney)
51. "townies" think they need a visa to go past worli to the suburbs
52. When u use the word "yaar" in almost every sentence u speak. (valencia dmello)
53. You call onion as "kandha" and potato as "batata" (Kavya)
54. You think of a spicy tangy snack whenever you hear the work chat (Gila Ward)
55.You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Bombay(Romit)
56. you call the cabbies n waiters BOSS (Aneesh Angadi)
57. abuses like chu**** . madar****. Bhen***... are the words whic u have to use in each sentence yyou speak
58. you prefer wada pav by jumbo king anyday on comparision wid Mc donalds burger
59. Each monday you go for either bowling or pool.
60. u enter mocha/ barista/ ccd lookin all posh but sit with one drink for 5 hrs till they politely ask u if u "need anythin else"(Sonali Kokra 60-62)
61. yr pricipal form of entertainment are all the aunties who scream obsceities at each other at the drop of a hat and threaten to pull the others hair/ push out of the train at 11 in the nyt!
62. yr idea of a full body massage is wat u get while trying to get off/ board a train at dadar!!!
63. At 3am in morning you can still get wadapav or butter pav bhaji(Aditya bengali)
64. When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans!
65. when the traffic almost makes good frnds wid the person in the car next to you.(Aneesh angadi)
66. You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains... (aditya bengali)
67. You snigger every time somebody says "Im going to Grant road!"
68. u call the policemen "MAMU" OR "PANDU" (ronak panani)
69. random strangers butt in wen u r discussing cricket o politics or even chicks 2 give their personal (unwanted) opinion (Harsh)
70. You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing(70-75 Dhavan Vora )
71. There is always one 'pan-wala' on the corner of street
72. You keep spare candles in the kitchen just in case there's a power surge.
73. To you, your watchman doesn't have a name - you just call him 'watchman'.
74. You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.
75. You know of certain theaters where you can go for A-rated movies with your friends, even when you're under 18.
76. whn u r standing at a bus stop near juhu beach and sum random guy comes up to u and says " boss" short term, long term chahiye kya (saatvik)
77. When every rickshaw looks like a personal disco, with neon lights, loud music and pictures of film stars.(amrryn)
78. seeing "Mein Kampf" being sold openly on the streets in abundance seems like a perfectly normal thing to you.(Patrick Weyers)
79. you have to pay international roaming fees when you use your cell phone outside of Mumbai.
80. you can only smile forgivingly about the size of any other city in the world.
81. you consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.
82. when someone asks u "east" or "west" side of a particular station?
83. when there is a saffron rally every 3 months , n u just wonder , whats it all about , u jus went to vote , 3 months ago , n they r holding elections all again?
84. when "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word
85. when u see hijraas/eunuchs at street asking for u to lend them some money , with a very very catchy one liner : eeeee deeeeeeeee naaaaaa usually on fridays.sometimes men even get grooped when they dont pay 'em
86. when u can find hukkas for use at a coffee shop the equivalent of starbucks (Vishal prabhu)
87. when u never cross the road at a zebra crossing
88. when u can always find a car that has a dent or scratch on it
89. When u find cars on the Road even at 4 in the morning(Trish bose)
90. You never learnt how to stand in a queue
91. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
92. Every time you speak Hndi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face.
93. You have hung on to dear life at the local door.
94. You still refer to a car / vehicle full of girls as "Maal Gaadi" - left over from the "Ladies Special" days...
95. You take the "Weight and Your Future for Rs.1 only" machines at the stations seriously. ... At least the Future bit, it always exaggerates about the weight.
96. When while giving directions you say "Right/ Left MARO aur wahan pe ek bridge GIREGA"
97. when you actually see random people coming to help you when u have a problem
98. .when u can take a piss at the local shouchalaya for 50paise and a dump for 1 re
99. When you think everyone who lives to the south of you is a snob and to the north of you sucks
100. you behave like a foreigner in any other part of the country (hurray !!! 100)
101. u see couples cosying up in rickshaws in almost every small lane
102. u want to get into the train already that is already in motion & u have 5 hands taking u in..
103. When you instinctively say "pudhey challa" instead of saying agey badho or move ahead.
104. You meet Delhiites in a foreign country and feel no sense of kinship with them!
105. Chal, paka mat!" is an overused part of your vocabulary
106. here "maall" is a gurl n na goods
107. Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily.
108. You log on to social networking sites and search for Bombay-related groups!!!(manas)
109. u treat mumbai as a country itself (Danny)
110. You drink 2 sips of tea called 'cutting' more than thrice a day (Bhakti)
111. You call a corner 'khopcha' and a cigarette 'sutta'
112. u think tht delhi copied INDIA GATE frm mumbai's GATEWAY OF INDIA...(Akshay)
113. masseuses on juhu beach come out only after midnight n cops get free massages frm them
114. when you see the dabbawallas on the station and fishwali kolis in train (amrita)
115. when u c movie names like "shootout at Lokhandwala" & 'Ek chalis ki last local" & don't have to ask wot the name means(gauri)
116. when you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay (prajay)
117. when we compare our mumbai-pune expressway to the autobahn and our cab drivers to the indian schumacher.
118. you know 'bhai' means a guy who has no brotherly feelings. (partho)
119. you know that 'khamba' does not only mean pillar
120. when you call a watermelon "Kalingar" instead of "Terbus"
121. Making a loud kissing noise is how you tease girls in Delhi, but making that same noise is how you hail an autorickshaw in Bombay (Shivani T)
122. The rest of India calls it namkeen----you know it as farsan (Shivani T)
123. You don't differentiate between U.P. and Bihar. All you know is that's where the 'bhaiyas' come from (Shivani T)
124. if someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...(gunjan)
125. You get felt up every time you get into the general compartment instead of the ladies'.
126. You get photographed at three parties and you're suddenly a page 3 regular!
127. When your lunch is delivered hot in a tiffin at exactly 1pm from home every working day.
128. when u have an account with tha paan wala for cigarettes on credit your outside home & work
129. when u r stuck in traffic even at 1:30 a.m
130. You see two office-goers play a game of cards in your evening local train.
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